Stupid Vehicle!

Last week Mrs. Grouchy took the MAV (Mormon Assault Vehicle) to the shop for some preventive maintenance. When the technician saw it was a Ford Windstar he informed her that our van is known as the Ford "Deathstar" among mechanics. After this enlightenment, along with the history of problems I’ve experienced, I decided to do some research on the dependability of this vehicle.

It is official, our van is a piece-of-crap that cost me a small fortune. My realization has caused me to feel a little depressed over the vehicle I picked. That is until I came across a website with some funny comments from people about their vehicles. I hope you enjoy!

Chevrolet Trailblazer
"It was a warm (88 degrees) sunny day. We were about to leave a local
store and upon closing the front drivers and passenger doors the rear glass
'EXPLODED'!!!!! There were no bullet holes, rocks, rake and torch waving
villagers, nothing that could have caused this..."
Mramirez142 in Abilene, TX, USA

Dodge Ram 1500 4.7L
"The truck started backfiring and that is so embarrassing. Especially
when there are a s***-load of people at the store when you're trying to leave
and everyone ducks because they think it's a drive by."
Kayla L. in Kinder, Louisiana, USA

Ford Escape XLT 3.0L
"C'mon Ford, can you design a vehicle? Put the exhaust right next to the
alternator, stupid!...Then try to put the d** thing [alternator] on! You
need the brain of an engineer, the hands of a strong midget wrestler, and the
neck of an ostrich to even think about this task. Who designed this? ... I
hope I never meet the engineer who deigned this piece of crap in a dark
alley!"
Jeanie N. in Bismarck, ND, USA

Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo 4.0L
"For the past couple of years, my jeep will simply stall without
warning. Engine warm, engine cold, hot weather, cold weather, full moon, no
moon, democrats in office, republicans in office, there is no pattern..."
Malcolmoffire in Houston, Texas, USA

Dodge Ram 1500 4.7L
"The d** truck smokes worse than a freight train and its kinda
embarrassing! Especially when you are going to pass someone and your d**
truck smokes soooooo d** bad that you can't even see the vehicle behind you
anymore!"
Kayla L. in Kinder, Louisiana, USA

Dodge Grand Caravan SXT 3.8L V6
"We noticed that the airbag light was on so we brought it in to the
local dealer for repair. The mechanic called us and told us the two of the
airbag sensors and the wiring harnesses were badly corroded and needed to be
replaced. He then told us that this was NOT covered by our Chrysler Added
Care Plus 7/70 extended warranty . . . I called the warranty center and they
confirmed that this problem is the result of the "Act of God"; therefore it
is not covered by the warranty. Since when does God spread salt on the
roads?"
Camtis in Zimmerman, MN, USA

Oldsmobile Alero
"I was in my home enjoying relaxation time with my family. Then, out the
blue, my car was sounding off something terrible. I was shocked, puzzled, and
bamboozled!!!! Then, I was like "How am I going to stop this horn"? I tried
pressing the buttons on the keys to stop the alarm. Then I began pressing on
the horn. It stopped. Of course, that was short lived. I was PISSED CLEAN THE
H*** OFF!!!!! People outside looking at my ride and me like a d**fool. I
thought I was a d** alien. I kept pressing the horn & it finally stopped.
Again, same ol song. I was HEATED!!!!!!! So here it is 2am in the morning and
as soon as I doze off, my d** horn decides to serenade the neighborhood."
Mizzra in Mansfield, Ohio, USA

Wow, I feel much better about my "Deathstar" after reading, and rereading, these comments. It appears that I'm not the only one to be fooled with the "buy American" campaign. I guess I should have bought a Honda!