One Clueless General

This weekend was our annual records review for soldiers in the unit. The review is a logistical requirement that comes from Department of the Army. Therefore, we have no choice in completing the task. Annual records review consists of three basic parts: 1) soldiers sign a Statement of Accountability that simply says they have all their equipment and it’s in serviceable condition. 2) Soldiers have to update a DA Form 4886, which accounts for clothing the Army has given them.

This form is something every soldier has used since Basic Training. Commissioned officers just write sizes on the 4886 without signing. This is because they usually buy their own clothing. The sizes on the 4886 help us to get soldiers their necessary gear when they deploying. You would be amazed at how many soldiers can’t complete basic Army Form correctly.

Just recently we had a CW5 (Chief Warrant Officer), with over 30 years in the Army, come into the supply room upset because we asked him for sizes on his clothing form. He stated that he had never filled out a 4886 before and we were wasting his time. We patiently listened to his ramblings as I thought to myself, “waste, that is every time this guy receives a paycheck from the Army.”

3) We use a DA Form 3645 for the accountability of “Field Gear” (i.e., sleeping bag, backpack, and other camping items). This form is automated, it requires a soldier to “digitally sign” using a military website. This morning we had a “One Star” yell at us and angrily leave the supply room because he couldn't figure out how to sign his form. Somehow the General thought his stupidity was our fault.

Honestly, I have young E-2’s (Privates) complete this task without any major problems, but today it really baffled our General. When he left I just had to shake my head in amazement. If he can’t even sign a piece of paper using basic computer technology, how is anything getting done around this place? Think about the amount of times you sign your name (i.e., credit cards, online user agreements, etc.) in a day without any problems, and you're not incharge of thousands of soldiers.

Who is signing for the organization? Approving policies? Most importantly, how am I getting paid? I have an answer to all these questions. It’s being done by little green leprechauns! Yes, I’ve heard they complete any task through hard work and a large pot of gold. I've also heard this is how President Obama plans on succeeding with Health Care Reform.