Intelligence Can Be Overrated

In the military we have some folks that proudly carry the title MI (Military Intelligence). They do things like interpret and analyze, along with being proficient in multiple languages like Pashto, Persian-Farsi, Persian-Dari, Urdu and Swahili. These guys often have large egos, but for some reason they can’t even march or shoot a rifle.

I must admit, the whole idea of intelligence in any government organization just makes me laugh. For me the term "military intelligence" is a complete oxymoron. These "Intelligent" people are some of the stupidest people I've ever met. Let me give you just a few examples to prove my point.

First, is it every a good idea to announce your greatness in anything? Look at Charlie Sheen, Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and Mike Tyson. These guys all profess to be great, but they're just a bunch of bozos.

Second, is it really intelligent when someone dedicates a year of his/her life to learning an obscure foreign language for the reward of a low paying military job in the enlisted ranks?

Third, we’ve seen the movie The Gods Must Be Crazy and it was nice when someone could communicate with the confused little bushman, who was carrying a Coca-Cola bottle. But I never wanted to be that guy who spent the time to proficiently understand the clicking noise that the little guy in a loincloth was making. Honestly, how much knowledge can be gained from a guy who is toting around a pop bottle, because he can't figure out how to get rid of the thing?

Recently, we had a conference in our building that was hosted, and attended, by a large number of MI folks. These guys had some important stuff to tell each other. In fact, it was so important that they sent one of their young "intelligence" soldiers on a mission to make a large pot of coffee. It seems that MI people were falling asleep during these very important briefings. So the soldier came and borrowed our large coffee pot that holds about 5 gallons of coffee. Then he went and found a place to put the coffee pot while the coffee brewed. The task seemed simple enough, until we observed his plan.

In the area where I work is a series of conduit, circuit breakers, fuse boxes and transformers. These items collectively work to power the entire buildings electrical needs. Around this electrical equipment are warning signs that state the obvious dangers. Well, one young "intelligence" soldier decided these warnings were overrated and placed 5 gallons of liquid on top of the main transformer, which is partially unprotected. He said it looked like a nice surface to place a large coffee pot, and there was a 110 volt electrical plug nearby. I guess this guy didn't understand that electricity and water don't mix. After his mistake was discovered, there was one very angry safety officer that had a long talk with this young soldier.

Well folks, I know I'm not that intelligent, but at least I can make a hot drink without putting myself, and others, in immediate danger!