Special People in Airports

Today I had to travel across the country on TDY (temporary duty) orders so that I could attend some logistics training. I was bored much of the day, therefore, I utilized the opportunity to make a few observations of people in airports. I suspect you might have had similar observations during your travels.

First, have you noticed the special people who try to get “everything but the kitchen sink” onto the plane as carry-on baggage? These people are too cheap to pay baggage fees, so they just drag everything onto the aircraft. These idiots cause problems for the rest of us because they hog precious space in the overhead compartments. This means that you are forced to stow away your stuff in space that is designed for your legs. Then your legs are completely numb by the time you reach your final destination because they are crammed between your backpack and coat.

Second, am I the only person that thinks the preferred customers program for airlines stink? Who cares if you belong to the gold, silver, diamond, sapphire, platinum or other silly programs! Hey Buddy, go ahead and be the first person onto that cramped plane. I’ll stay out in this spacious lobby for as long as possible. Don’t worry about that little old lady using the walker to get onto the aircraft. She’ll get out of your way because you’re a real special person! The rule is: Pay a little extra money for an airplane ticket and you’re entitled to forget all your manners.

Third, have you noticed the clowns that have to advertise their favorite sports team for all to see? These walking billboards usually wear an entire wardrobe of their team’s colors and logo. Hey Crazy Sports Guy, do you really need a hat, shirt, coat, gloves and backpack with your team’s colors and logo? I don’t care how much you love the Indianapolis Colts. Your team still lost the big game to a football team from N-E-W O-R-L-E-A-N-S and you paid way too much money for that “official” team gear!

Forth, have you seen some of the goofy clothing styles people think are nifty? Hey Gangster Wannabe, I don’t need to see your nappy butt. Pull up those baggy pants or take the chance of me depositing my unwanted change into that crack you have on display. Also, have you notice that stretch pants are the new style among trendy young women? Honestly, these pants make ladies look like they are just wearing a pair of long underwear. I thinking this style might be a sign of the times. It appears that women on a budget might not be able to afford a stylish pair of jeans or a skirt, but they can afford a nice pair of long underwear. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about the new style, except when it is a 200 pound woman who is sporting these nifty stretch knit leggings. Hey Supersized Lady, you have way too much jiggle in the wiggle to sport that big caboose in public!

After spending a day in some airports across America, I’ve decided that this country is just full of special people. I can now understand how it is possible that I have a Commander-In-Chief who goes by the name Barack.